in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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