I don't think brook has ever known best
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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