I think i peed on brittanys purse
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
