We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
