My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
