Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize