I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
