I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He shit in the fireplace
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
