a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
