I hate all girls vehemently.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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