Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
