I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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