Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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