I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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