i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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