my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
did i just pee glitter
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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