So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
My ATM looks so different sober.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize