are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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