the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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