He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
