loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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