I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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