woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
We got so high we made milksteak
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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