I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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