She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Randomize
