we're blogging at a bar
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
