I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
This is the high leading the old right now
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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