Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
