so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
