I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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