i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
