these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
