so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
