Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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