I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
