I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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