When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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