just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize