the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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