fuck your aforementioned shoe
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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