I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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