I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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