ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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