Pants 0. Shit 1.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
