Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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