I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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