Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
