She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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