Porn is love you can see.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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