Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
