Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
