I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
We left an ass print on the piano.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
