I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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