Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
