This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
