I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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