i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
