guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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