NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
