Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
