Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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