Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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