Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
