Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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