He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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