my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
