i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
